Most days, I rush out of the office at least 5 minutes late with a messy desk and nothing close to inbox zero. I then spend the commute trying to answer emails while my train is above ground because if there's one thing I hate more than unfinished business it's MY flexible scheduling interfering with my colleagues' productivity.
For the last few weeks I've tried a new daily closeout routine that's helping me end the day on a high note, set me up for a smooth landing tomorrow and ease the transition to home life (also known as the second shift). This routine is largely based on Daniel Pink's latest book When: The Scientific Secrets to Perfect Timing. I'm a big Dan Pink Fan, if you haven't read his work, give it a read (or listen on Audible, because I know you're multi-tasking even as you read this blog post). I block the last five minutes of my day on my calendar and do three things:
Is it helping? Too early to help. But a five minute investment in a strong daily wrap up is sure to have a positive return.
1 Comment
The sprint from Thanksgiving to New Year’s is a beast for most folks, but if you have kids and you’re working outside of the home it’s a trifecta of over-scheduling, guilt and unmet expectations. You feel horrible that you have to miss the preschool Holiday Caroling Party at 11 AM because you have meeting downtown at 10:30. Your to-do list seems to grow with every item checked off and yet as you are rushing around, from your daughter’s Nutcracker Dress Rehearsal to your son’s Boy Scout Canned Good Collection Drive while frantically checking email from your boss you have to wonder: is it January yet?
Listen, the Holidays are busy. There are extra commitments and activities on top of your normal circus and that only adds fuel to the fire. Add on all the baggage from your own childhood holiday expectations and guilt that you aren’t going to sacrifice your little angels’ “perfect holiday” because you work and you have a recipe for disaster. So I’m here to tell you two things: it will not be perfect, and that’s okay. The upside to adulting is that you are in charge of your time, you can say no, and it will all be alright. On my sixteenth year as a working parent during the holidays, I have a few survival tips that may help quell your Christmas Chaos: 1. Reign It In. You don’t need to give every single person you know the perfect gift. Ain’t no shame in the same-gift game. Find the perfect small gift? Buy a dozen and share with everyone from your cube-neighbor to the newspaper delivery guy. And most of our kids have MORE than they will ever want or need. Our family sticks to the four gift rule: something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. Draw names with your extended family or agree to only exchange gifts for the children. We all have too much crap anyway. 2. Just Say No. I once insisted on attending three holiday parties in one night. That was dumb, and not a lot of fun for me or my husband. Two parties per night, max. And it’s okay to say no to client or vendor parties. Or to your friends that host direct sales parties (ask them to send you a link, they gladly will). You probably won’t make it to every year-end or holiday event for each child, and everyone will survive. Why is the piano recital at the same time as the end-of-season sports banquet? Are they conspiring against me? No, but ’tis the season for a calendar collision course. 3. Order Gifts to Your Office. You are more Amazon Prime than Pinterest and I love you for it. Ship gifts to your office so you don’t have to Heisman your kid when launching out of the minivan from daycare pickup, running to get the box left on the front step, only to spend the next fifteen minutes (during the witching hour, mind you) looking for a better hiding spot from your little Nancy Drew. Schedule a late work night in December, pour yourself a little cocktail and put that laptop Spotify app on Holiday music and wrap away. All the recycling goes in the office bin and you arrive home with wrapped packages to slip under the tree or gift after you light the menorah. 4. Only Do What Brings You Joy. I have a love-hate relationship with holiday cards: love to get them, hate to give them. Every year it became a family battle royale to get the right photo, wrestle with mail merge labels and bribe the boys into assembly-line the distribution. So I gave it up. One year I made an Animoto video, another year I sent Valentine’s Day cards. People, THANK YOU for sending me yours, but I just can’t even. Maybe I’ll send them when the boys are in college (please, sweet baby Jesus, may they all get into college) but please accept my apologies in advance that I just can’t get it together to get cards out the door while I’m wrapping up year-end at work. 5. Impromptu is Better. Look, you can’t orchestrate the perfect holiday. Rather than scheduling all the things you want to do during the holidays, leave space for the magic to happen. One of our favorite holiday traditions is for the boys and I to sneak out for an hour or two (can be done ANYTIME) to be elves practicing Random Acts of Kindness. They get to choose what we do, we’re together, we feel good. And that’s a heckuva lot better than forcing your family to go to a Messiah Singalong that only YOU want to attend (and seriously, go alone, it’s better that way). And when you have the inevitable candy cane-induced meltdown, don’t freak out. That’s happening in every house and isn’t what you see in the picture-perfect InstaChristmas posts. Throw your kids in the car in their PJ’s, give them a plastic coffee mug of warm milk or hot chocolate, and take a little ride around the neighborhood and look at all the pretty lights. There really is magic in the season, you just have to have the time to notice it. Spend 10 minutes with me and you’ll hear me say “my most precious resource is time, even more than money.” Now winning the Powerball probably makes that math a little different, but on the main the thing I am most protective of is my google calendar. I wake up at 4:45AM, manage my schedule like a hawk and crash hard at 9:30PM. Everything in between is an exercise in maximizing face time at the office and with my sons, who appear to be changing from boys to men overnight (and with the assistance of a gallon of whole milk per day).
Over time, I’ve realized that there are just some things you don’t have time for as a working mother. Let me rephrase that; there are things *I* don’t have time for as a working mother. If you can pull off one or two of these things, then boy howdy, you are Wonder Woman and I am in awe. Share your secrets, pretty please. So that you can check your guilt at the door and get on with living your awesome crazy life, I share my list with you: 1. Office Drama. I could argue that NO ONE has time for this, but if you’re trying to finish a slide deck by 4:30 so you can Grace to soccer across town at 5 PM then you do not have time to gossip, pick sides, lobby opposition or send speculative IMs. Keep your head down, be polite and pleasant to everyone and get the hell out of dodge. 2. Personal Drama. That cousin that always makes a snide comment about how awful it must be for your son to have to go to after-school care because you “chose to have a job” or the girlfriend that leaves you irritated, frustrated and wanting after every brunch date? Nope. Don’t have time for them. Do not give people that take from you any blocks on that precious google calendar. 3. Every.Single.Happy.Hour. I love a 5 o’clock glass of house white as much as the next lady, but to quote Elaine Benes from Seinfeld, “every day is someone’s special day.” Someone in your office is always having a baby, getting married, going to grad school or having some other big life event. Great, wonderful, wish them well as they celebrate with their real friends. If you can make one of these a fiscal quarter, you get a gold medal. Attend one with your boss, key client or star employee? BOOM. You’ve won the working momolympics. 4. Pinterest-Worthy Birthdays. Or anything Pinterest-worthy, for that matter. But ESPECIALLY not children’s birthday parties. I used to love Pinterest, but now think it’s the digital epitome of what is wrong with women: rather than inspiring one another, we see ourselves as not as worthy. Don’t let working mother guilt get you here. Kids want their pals, pizza and cake. And order the damned cake, will you? You must finish the Fleischman brief tonight; you do NOT need to track down edible bamboo for the Moana cake. 5. Seasonal Decorations. Outside of the 3 bins of Christmas gear, you won’t find a Kiss Me, I’m Irish sign on my front door or an Easter Egg tree in my yard. If Halloween is your jam then great, go all out, but don’t spend your precious free time tracking down President’s Day-themed laminated place mats for your kids (I did it, it wasn’t worth it, trust me). 6. Errands. There is never joy in running around town for the Bed, Bath & Beyond return, dry cleaning drop off and never-ending Costco run, but if you work 40+ hours per week and spending another 10 commuting (welcome to Washington, folks) then you must lean on the fairies that deliver any- and everything to your door. What used to be the delight of urban areas is available everywhere thanks to Boxed.com and Amazon Prime. Face it, sisters. We’re more Amazon Prime than Pinterest and we wouldn’t have it any other way. |